Made in Heaven?

The lobby of the 5 star hotel was huge. The interior was tastefully decorated as only hotels can be. The huge French windows showed the beautiful city outside in the midday sun. The sea was glimmering like it had been sprayed with diamonds. The couches were occupied and he stood still for a second to spot her. There were 3 single women on different couches and he walked to her. He homed in on her more like it! She was sitting writing something seriously in her diary. Her bent head was dark brown with short hair falling across her fair brow. She was in deep concentration and had no idea she was being watched. He saw her tasteful powder blue blouse exposing smooth fair arms, the firmness giving away the fact she was working out regularly; her cleavage showing a mere glimpse of what lay beneath the demure top. Her trousers, were they jeans? Yes, they were navy blue cords! He was enamoured already. He saw her slender fingers gripping a pen, they were neatly shaped but with no paint. She was wearing black pumps. All in all she was a sight which was appealing in her simplicity and lack of pretense. He looked at her face and saw the small nose sitting prettily on her face…unobtrusive and yet something he inexplicably wanted to kiss! Her chin was determined and had the hint of a cleft revealing a woman who had passion and was social…in short a flirt!

He walked up to her and said her name gently, “Nikita!” (Please note it was not a question but a statement) he just knew it was her. Nikita looked up at Rohit and he was taken aback. It was like he was hit by lightning, a bolt from the blue. Her eyes were large pools of melted chocolate. They demanded that you drown in them. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. The illusion of simplicity was wiped out in an instant with that direct gaze of hers. Her beauty lay all here in her eyes. He saw the world in it, his world. He saw his neatly arranged world disintegrate in those eyes. Then she smiled. And he was in shambles. How could this be happening? She was standing up and he saw she was as tall as him. She held out her hand and her warm, firm clasp showed him her character. She was strong and fearless. She was honest and she was leaving his hand!! He wanted to hold it forever…. He thought he was going to dissolve in a heap when she spoke and said his name, “Rohit”. He never realized he had anything left to lose till her husky voice, lined with humour reached his ears. It was like he was being dismantled bit by bit and left there with no help to be brought back whole. He was lost completely and it was just 5 seconds since he had spotted her. How did he know it was her? Instinct? Whatever it was it was potent. He knew he had to be a man and make a mark but he was at a loss at to how he would word his next sentence. Effortlessly, Nikita said she was so happy to meet him finally and sat down gracefully. He followed suit. She asked him if wanted a beverage and he knew he needed a stiff shot of scotch but it was only 12.30 p.m and he never drank in the day!! She ordered her coffee and he asked for chamomile tea…to calm him!! This was the start to an afternoon that he never wanted to end.

By the time the beverage was done, Rohit was in control of some senses and he offered to show his favourite eating place. The drive down was thankfully short! He was hypnotized by her proximity and that fragrance….what was it? This fruity, fresh fragrance…bright and cheerful it was such that he wanted to lick it off her skin to figure out whether it was as tasty as it smelled! Once in the restaurant with the place crowded as usual, they were given a table for 2 near the waiters’ table. It upset Rohit but Nikita seemed at ease and said it was the company that mattered not the place or the food. As they sat, the proximity got closer and he felt her knee against his. He was electrified by it. She gently moved her leg away. He chased it with his knee but it was gone. He was bereft of the contact. Suddenly he saw her hands. They were playing with the napkin; nothing unusual in that, is there? Oh, but it was odd. She was nervous and covering it very well in this mask, in this cover-up of being a sophisticated woman of the world! He didn’t say a word but he kept his observation on unnoticed! And he saw the hands do a merry dance with a lot of the tableware, the salt shakers got a perfectly good waltz as did the fork! She was partial to the spoon though..she kept turning it round and round as if twirling her partner to a song she was playing in her head. The conversation continued unabated with sparks flying, both matching wit for wit and the humour keeping the company in splits. Each time he saw her laugh he was falling more and more in love. She laughed in a full throated manner, with no pretense and no fear of what the people would think. She was happy and she would show it. Her eyes, large, expressive pools of bitter chocolate, sparkled with fire and he kept drowning. Only too soon it was over and he had to drive her back. That is when he saw a flicker of apprehension in her eyes. He knew why, but he had nothing to say now. He held open the door for her and watched her enter. Her back was shaped such that it curved into her waist… not too slim to look fragile but not large enough to look embarrassing, flared out into hips that begged to be held and coveted. Her tight behind commanded attention and he knew from walking behind her that it swayed with a magic that was unreal. It held itself against gravity and he felt a throb in his loins he knew he had to quell before he grew bestial with desire. Once she was settled, he got in and drove off with her in silence. The drive back was stilted with electricity sparking off every surface. They didn’t look at each other but the chatter continued unabated. Only too soon they were at the place he was to drop her. She thanked him for a lovely afternoon, shook his hand, looked like she was going to peck his cheek, but he held back and she was gone. He saw her lithely running across the road into the maw of the station that eats up hundreds and thousands of people every day. She was gone and he was left like his world had stopped rotating, stopped glowing, and stopped just like that. But he knew what was to be done now. He wondered why he had fought so hard. Why, oh why, hadn’t he heeded their suggestion earlier? He called his mom. She answered after a few rings in which time Rohit was shivering with impatience. “Rohit? How are you son?” Such an innocent question, but oh so loaded! ‘I am not fine Ma! I am in deep trouble. I can’t think straight. Help me Ma. Tell me what to do?” He could hear her chuckle at the other end and he was irritated. She quietly said the words he hoped she would say, “Should I accept the proposal then? You liked her I think!” Understatement of the year!! Liked her?? He was head over heels in love! He? How did it happen? He was dead set against arranged marriages. He had been resisting his parents for years and when they pushed him into a corner this time, playing the emotional game only too well, he succumbed to his mother’s sad eyes, he agreed! The fact that she was exactly what he had been waiting for all his life, and he hadn’t found on his own made him cringe! He the archetypal womanizer needed his parents to find his dream woman! Would he ever live it down?? Who cared? He was in love and he wanted to sing it out loud, dance with the wind, yell and scream in joy! He softly told his mother that he accepted the proposal and could they please start the proceedings immediately so that they can get over with the ceremony in a week!! His mother’s peal of laughter was embarrassing and he blushed. He would be with Nikita soon…he couldn’t wait! Could she??? 

She was secretly smiling to herself all the way home. When she walked in her mother hugged her hard and said that their proposal had been accepted and they had to rush since the young man refused to be kept away from her any more than 7 days!

Siddharth's Stick

Siddharth was a man who had reached a phase in life where many many things were finally making sense. He was reaching 40 and was still youthful to look at. He had the kind of face that ages slowly and while doing so it gets charming by the minute. His chocolate brown eyes twinkled with a merry delight when he allowed himself to laugh and they grew into large orbs when he was faced with wonder that life brings. His patrician nose wrinkled in distaste when he was exposed to injustice and the nostrils flared in anger. His chin was blessed with a deep cleft that was attractive ad more than one woman had fallen prey to the flirt in him. He was not very tall, may be around 5’9” or so and he was not built like a brick house…he was lithe and wiry and one time he prided himself on his fitness. 

Well, that was changing. For one thing, Siddharth realized that his days of smoking were numbered. He had been going at the tobacco stick for years, more years than he cared to remember! He had begun as a schoolboy and had continued in college where the pretty girls found it very grown up of him to be the prouder of a Zippo lighter. He carried on the habit well into his youth and fell in love a few times. There was a time he loved an old school friend who tried to stamp her authority in him by telling him to choose between her and the cigarette…getting more and more maniacal with her statements – If you smoke, something bad will happen to me! And then corroborating this same line by concocting fanciful stories that she had been abducted and taken to some far off place by strangers, molested and then left to go!! She thought these would get Siddharth to stop his habit. It didn’t work! It did, however, get him to leave this psychotic girl for good!

 The habit continued with him, going along with him like a faithful shadow. It became his closest friend, someone he could rely on to give solace, comfort, to hold and have in the dark, lonely hours of the night. 

Then he met the love of his life, and married her. She smoked too but not as much as he did. The best part was that she never told him what to do or not to do. She let him be and told him he was an adult and responsible for himself. If he chose to smoke 5 cigarettes it was ok with her as much as it was okay with her if he chose to smoke 40 a day. She did, nonetheless, remind him gently on and off that the cost of the 40 cigarettes was telling on the family budget.
There came a time when Siddharth was told he was going to be a father. His wife gave up her habit in a minute and never looked back. He was told not to smoke in her presence for dear of damaging the foetus. He was good and did as he was told but he continued his smoking unabated. The happy day dawned and the son, his prince, arrived. He continued smoking – only this time – he wore a smoking jacket! His wife told him time and again that the smoking would damage the baby, the enamel on the babies teeth would get damaged too and all the other related issues. But, Siddharth was immune to all and could not give up his first love.

Siddharth’s son grew up in a haze of smoke around him. He was so used to watching his father smoke that he would even bring the packet when he was asked by Siddharth. Then, the prince started teething and lovely pearls were formed, reinforcing Siddharth’s belief that all the talk of damages by passive smoking was hogwash! The child was healthy. Then came time for the permanent teeth to arrive and lo! And behold! Why were the young prince’s teeth so odd? Why was there a yellow mark running through the length of the tiny tooth? Why was it de-shaped? Why did it not look like the teeth of the other kids? Was it true? The enamel was damaged? Were those talks of passive smoking true?

Siddharth took his young prince to the best dentist he could find. The prognosis was that the enamel was damaged!! You would think it would stop his habit!!! But, no, his once close friend and confidante was now a ghoul around his neck who refused to go. No matter how hard he tried he could not get rid of her! She was there, luring him, tempting him, holding him prisoner to his own weakness. 

That is when he knew he had to do something! He knew it was time that he got the strength to divorce himself from his lifelong friend. He confided his desire in his wife who knew that it would be a trip up the toughest road for him. She had observed his health failing, his once fit and toned body was now thin and weary. The lustre in his sparkling eyes was gone and surrounded by a grey shadow that refused to go. His finger looked like it had been dabbed by some yellow pigment. It was frightening listening to him cough or sleep – the rattle in his chest, the effort to take in a breath! She knew he needed to give up. She asked herself if she  had  been right in letting him do as he pleased for so many years? Would it have been different if she had nagged? He would have done it on the sly! The result could have been worse. But she knew that his need to get rid off the monkey from his back was something she would help him with.
So the endeavour began….the long ride uphill, with both holding hands and taking it each step at a time. Siddharth suffered pangs and shivers, he wanted his friend his back and he wanted her now! The times he faltered, he found his wife with him and he knew he could win this time! He is still struggling…but today he has hope and he has the belief that he will be free of this habit. It will be hard since nicotine is an insidious drug that is more potent than even brown sugar. It remains in the body for years after giving up smoking thereby making it easier for the person to return to this habit. It is a killer and does so quietly. How many of us are there who need to lose this friend? I know I am one. I hope that I find it in me to lose this friend!

The Line

Some day I will write a line 
A clean straight line 
A line that will speak 
A line that will talk 
A line that will share what I am all about 

In that line I hope you will find 
The essence that will bring you to me 
To make you feel the eternity of me 
To show that there are feelings like the endless blue sea 

Will you then know how to open? 
To look within? 
To find the strength? 
To take my courage and make into yours? 
Will you then know the profound emotion I feel? 

Some day I will write a line 
To show you that I feel the caress 
Of a winter breeze 
Tingling my skin 
Chilling my bones 
Freezing the ember that lay simmering 
But slowly died with no stoking 

Will you then know that the spring will arrive? 
That green shoots will grow? 
That the flowers of nature will bloom 
Like the love I feel I for you? 

The day the line is written 
You will know 
You will feel 
You will accept that I know more 
And you will be here with me

The day the line that connects me to you 

The line with which I talk to you 

The line where the horizon meets the earth

The line where you tell me my worth 

Will be the line that pulls me to you

That line which says I love you

I have written that line 
Did you feel it? 
Did you catch it? 
Did you hold it tight? 
Without a fight? 
Allowing yourself the bliss 
That being in love is? 

The Call

The sun is shining above you
Can u hear the song?
Can u see the bird?
Can u hear the rain?
Can u feel me close, whispering in your ear?

The sun is shining above you
Can u smell the grass?
Can u touch the flower?
Can u hear the bees’ wing?
Can you see me smile at you?

The sun is shining above you
Can u see the blue hills far away?
Can you reach the treetop?
Can you aim for the blue, blue sky?
Can u feel my arms around, holding you close?

The sun is shining above you
Can u climb the fresh haystack?
Can u grasp the floating feather?
Can u hold the fleeting cloud?
Can u see me reach for you?

The stars have come out
Can u see them sparkle?
Can u see the dark night looming?
Can u see the moon hiding behind the clouds?
Can u see me walking, leaving, going….

Are you calling me back?
Are you hoping I will turn back?
Was this not the story you wrote?
Was this not the climax you sought?
Will you come for me? 

The Pink Dress

Parul was 35 and lived a decent life. Busy husband with no fixed timings, a son, Ashutosh, and a daughter, Tanu. Her life revolved around her family. Though Parul’s pet was her son, Tanu didn’t fall behind too much in her affections. To compensate for the tiny iota that Tanu missed in the affection receiving department, Parul used to stitch dresses for her. With each meticulous stitch by stitch Parul would painfully bring out the most exquisite dresses for her little angel.
Only thing is that the little angel wasn’t one! She was the devil personified! A tomboy, naughty as hell and always in one scrape or the other. She loved playing with the boys and would try as hard as them in all the games they played and mostly was better than them. Nothing pleased this she –devil than beating up the errant boys who refused to play when she wanted.
Her brother was the true angel – quiet, gentle and the kind who never got into any trouble or fights at all. Even if he was instigated by others he was cool and collected enough to handle the situation diplomatically despite his young age!
One day Parul found the most delicate pink fabric – a light shade of pink that looked like the evening sky on a clear day when the sun was not yet near the horizon and was casting a gentle glow that filtered through the candy floss casting a beautiful hue which only nature can manufacture! Parul fell in love with it and knew exactly what she wanted to make with it. She went about buying lace, buttons and thread to transform this piece of cloth into a work of art. Then she began the painstaking procedure of measuring, drawing on paper and cutting the cloth. She would spend all her free time on it no matter what the time …..sometimes late into the night one could find her working bent over her aged machine.
Finally the dress was ready. All her neck aches and pricked fingers were worth what the dress looked like! On the hanger the dress looked like a little cake…frilled and ruffled with white lace and tiny mother of pearls running down the back. The puffed sleeves would make her little gem look like a fairy. Eyeing her work, Parul cast a discerning look and accepted that this was indeed her finest job. So, with a smile she called Tanu in and asked her to try it on. Parul should have paid closer attention to Tanu at that time. She should have realised that she had dragged Tanu away from a competitive cricket match that the 2 were playing in the compound. But, alas….
Well,Tanu struggled into the dress and turned to show her mother impatiently, urging her to let her get back to her match before Ashutosh decided to go back to his books. Before Parul could stop her Tanu ran out in that frilly pink concoction to continue her stiff match with her older brother. Parul smiled indulgently and followed her to watch her wonderful children playing outside her house. She saw her son hit an elegant shot a rashly bowled ball by Mily. The next shot was hit over the boundary wall which prompted Tanu as usual to climb the young jamun tree and then jump over the wall to retrieve it. Parul’s heart skipped a beat when she saw that. Tanu returned to the wall and threw the ball over. Then she scaled the wall as there was no helpful tree on the other side! As she scrambled over the top of the wall she held on to a branch slightly higher and asked Ashutosh to look at her. He disdainlyfully looked at her and told her to jump expecting her to refuse. But she was after all a devil….and for reconfirmation she kept asking – “Challenge? Challenge?” He finally nodded his head with resignation written large on his on innocent and gentle face. Parul was watching this small charade being played outside and had her heart in her mouth…Tanu jumped!!! And….got stuck on the lower branch! That pretty pink got caught on it and while it broke her fall it was slowly but irrevocably tearing bit by bit from the back of the dress….the ripping sound was like a knife ripping into Parul’s heart! All her hours of work on that dress were ruined within 15minutes!!! Tanu fell to the ground on her knees which instantly started bleeding.
That is the same time that Ashutosh saw the mangled dress and knew there was hell to pay …he furtively glanced up and saw his mother’s shocked face! He kept his bat down and slowly slunk away. Mily knew something terrible was to happen….she looked up . the expression on her mother’s face was a whole new novel to read!!!
Parul was left with nothing to say or do. She took off the dress and cleaned Tanu's knees. Then she stuffed the pink dress in a bag and threw it in the bin…never to stitch a dress again! She did make things like nighties and blouses but nothing extravagant like that beautiful pink dress.

working out

All the world says that we must all exercise to be healthy. Eat light and in small quantities to stay fit.
 When we were kids we could  eat what we liked, play how much we wanted, sit upside down post a meal and nothing went wrong. Metabolism was at its peak and food seemed to be in short supply.

Through to the teen years - suddenly chocolate became our biggest enemy. Instead of going to the heart and making us smile, its hit our hips or our cheeks - acne if you please! Cheese, butter, ghee - all those wonderful dairy products that mom used to feed us for our skin and bones- had become foes of the belly! Whatever happened to comfort foods like vada pav and french fries?? how could these fabulous friends become allies of the fat brigade?

But, did we workout? Naah...we would rather die hungry than exercise! We sashayed down roads wearing clothes that camouflage our curves and we  got so smart that we knew when to wear stripes and when to don that plunging neckline! Time to get married now that we were in the mid-20's, and all the world became  a gym. We walked up stairs and took the train instead of jumping into a cab. Some of us actually spent money and time on the treadmill at the local gym with a sadistic trainer whipping us into shape.

But what happened post marriage? Leftovers, romantic dinners, pizza lunches and of course the family meals...all designed to return to form and forget all the torture we put our bodies through just to get married. Pregnancy brought with it "eating for 2" meals, followed by much love and affection in the form of assuaging all craving at any odd hour of the day or night. I know a friend whose husband stocked enough icecream at home to feed a school. She had an insane craving for milkshakes with icecream at 2 a.m!! She gained 30 kg by the time the baby was born! The boy is 11 and she is still working to lose those kilos!!

Well now that  the kids have grown and some have left the nest, a lot of women realise the damage they have incurred on their bodies! The pleasantly plump curves are now just plain flab; the cute, soft arms are actually bat wings! That cherubic face has jowls, and its no longer love handles but saddle bags and cellulite on thighs! That is when working out takes on a new meaning! They hit the gym with a vigour only shown earlier when they were to get married. The walks on the treadmill, lifting weights, tromping on the stepper et al...all in the hope that they  regain their lost beauty!

Its better late than never. Though I sometimes feel that younger women need to be informed of the vagaries of beauty and flat bellies! They disappear so swiftly that we can hardly see it go. One should be screaming from rooftops-hit the gym today babe! Eat right today!! Make it a lifestyle change today!! Don't wait til you are 40 and your body is screaming at you to just let it be. The belly fat is so upset and distraught that you want it to leave you when all along all you did was encourage it to grow and take roots!!! The buttocks and hips and thighs are so confused with the constant workouts that they are frightened into dormancy! It takes the trainer months of whipping you to make an inch go. So, why oh why endure that humiliation when we can just be fit right from the start???