Siddharth was a man who had reached a phase in life where many many things were finally making sense. He was reaching 40 and was still youthful to look at. He had the kind of face that ages slowly and while doing so it gets charming by the minute. His chocolate brown eyes twinkled with a merry delight when he allowed himself to laugh and they grew into large orbs when he was faced with wonder that life brings. His patrician nose wrinkled in distaste when he was exposed to injustice and the nostrils flared in anger. His chin was blessed with a deep cleft that was attractive ad more than one woman had fallen prey to the flirt in him. He was not very tall, may be around 5’9” or so and he was not built like a brick house…he was lithe and wiry and one time he prided himself on his fitness.
Well, that was changing. For one thing, Siddharth realized that his days of smoking were numbered. He had been going at the tobacco stick for years, more years than he cared to remember! He had begun as a schoolboy and had continued in college where the pretty girls found it very grown up of him to be the prouder of a Zippo lighter. He carried on the habit well into his youth and fell in love a few times. There was a time he loved an old school friend who tried to stamp her authority in him by telling him to choose between her and the cigarette…getting more and more maniacal with her statements – If you smoke, something bad will happen to me! And then corroborating this same line by concocting fanciful stories that she had been abducted and taken to some far off place by strangers, molested and then left to go!! She thought these would get Siddharth to stop his habit. It didn’t work! It did, however, get him to leave this psychotic girl for good!
The habit continued with him, going along with him like a faithful shadow. It became his closest friend, someone he could rely on to give solace, comfort, to hold and have in the dark, lonely hours of the night.
Then he met the love of his life, and married her. She smoked too but not as much as he did. The best part was that she never told him what to do or not to do. She let him be and told him he was an adult and responsible for himself. If he chose to smoke 5 cigarettes it was ok with her as much as it was okay with her if he chose to smoke 40 a day. She did, nonetheless, remind him gently on and off that the cost of the 40 cigarettes was telling on the family budget.
There came a time when Siddharth was told he was going to be a father. His wife gave up her habit in a minute and never looked back. He was told not to smoke in her presence for dear of damaging the foetus. He was good and did as he was told but he continued his smoking unabated. The happy day dawned and the son, his prince, arrived. He continued smoking – only this time – he wore a smoking jacket! His wife told him time and again that the smoking would damage the baby, the enamel on the babies teeth would get damaged too and all the other related issues. But, Siddharth was immune to all and could not give up his first love.
Siddharth’s son grew up in a haze of smoke around him. He was so used to watching his father smoke that he would even bring the packet when he was asked by Siddharth. Then, the prince started teething and lovely pearls were formed, reinforcing Siddharth’s belief that all the talk of damages by passive smoking was hogwash! The child was healthy. Then came time for the permanent teeth to arrive and lo! And behold! Why were the young prince’s teeth so odd? Why was there a yellow mark running through the length of the tiny tooth? Why was it de-shaped? Why did it not look like the teeth of the other kids? Was it true? The enamel was damaged? Were those talks of passive smoking true?
Siddharth took his young prince to the best dentist he could find. The prognosis was that the enamel was damaged!! You would think it would stop his habit!!! But, no, his once close friend and confidante was now a ghoul around his neck who refused to go. No matter how hard he tried he could not get rid of her! She was there, luring him, tempting him, holding him prisoner to his own weakness.
That is when he knew he had to do something! He knew it was time that he got the strength to divorce himself from his lifelong friend. He confided his desire in his wife who knew that it would be a trip up the toughest road for him. She had observed his health failing, his once fit and toned body was now thin and weary. The lustre in his sparkling eyes was gone and surrounded by a grey shadow that refused to go. His finger looked like it had been dabbed by some yellow pigment. It was frightening listening to him cough or sleep – the rattle in his chest, the effort to take in a breath! She knew he needed to give up. She asked herself if she had been right in letting him do as he pleased for so many years? Would it have been different if she had nagged? He would have done it on the sly! The result could have been worse. But she knew that his need to get rid off the monkey from his back was something she would help him with.
So the endeavour began….the long ride uphill, with both holding hands and taking it each step at a time. Siddharth suffered pangs and shivers, he wanted his friend his back and he wanted her now! The times he faltered, he found his wife with him and he knew he could win this time! He is still struggling…but today he has hope and he has the belief that he will be free of this habit. It will be hard since nicotine is an insidious drug that is more potent than even brown sugar. It remains in the body for years after giving up smoking thereby making it easier for the person to return to this habit. It is a killer and does so quietly. How many of us are there who need to lose this friend? I know I am one. I hope that I find it in me to lose this friend!
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